I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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