so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize