My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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