if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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