You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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