I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
