i don't like sucking hair
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
