Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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