none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
