he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
