I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
