SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
