How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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