john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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