What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
