We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
