Screwed.edu
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize