like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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