i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
