do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
