Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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