If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
