I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
