is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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