Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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