So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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