You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I need water and some morals
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
