smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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