If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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