I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's never too late to be topless.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize