...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
