Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
