how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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