I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
