we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize