Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
