Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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