Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
