I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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