I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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