Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
