I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
