I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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