happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
