I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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