Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
