can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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