What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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