I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
