he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
