Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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