We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
