Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
