ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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