have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
did i just pee glitter
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
