no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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