He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
