I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
