i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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