Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
