Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
