Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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