I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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