Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I could fuck to npr.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
