me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize