Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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