I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
