Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Where is the hickey?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize