I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
