Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
